I’ve been thinking about life after death – and I want to come back as Keanu Reeves

He’s got looks, talent and money … but is also generous and modest. Who could ask for more?

Keanu Reeves says that, at 59, he’s thinking about death all the time. We’ve a lot in common, Keanu and I. I’m 57 and I, too, think about death all the time. Today, my specific thought on the subject is how much I would like to come back as Keanu Reeves.

Let us set aside his looks, acting talent and money. Not that I don’t covet them, but we’ll take those as read. There’s so much else to go on. Even Keanu’s preoccupation with death has common sense and positivity running through it like a stick of rock. “Hopefully it’s not crippling, but hopefully it’s sensitised [us] to an appreciation of the breath we have, and the relationships that we have the potential to have.” Oh stop it, Keanu, you’re too much. Oh hang on, there’s more: “I know the ones who love us will miss us.” In his case, that will be an awful lot of people.

And he is as modest as modest can be. He’s been promoting a novel he has co-written with the British science fiction author China Miéville. Now, when I was presenting The One Show I interviewed many a celebrity who had written a novel. I often wondered if they had actually written it. In one case, I strongly suspected the celebrity author in question hadn’t even read it. Compare and contrast Keanu. It’s not that I can be sure he did co-write the book – it’s better than that: he plays down his role. “I didn’t write a novel,” he insists. “China wrote a novel.” China returns fire: “It wouldn’t exist in the form without a lot of very thoughtful and careful work with Keanu.” It’s like a game of modesty tennis, a game this chap China will never win.

Everything is just perfect, even down to the level of shine on Keanu’s halo. He is famously philanthropic, and word has got round that he eschews material wealth. Hmm. But just as the light coming off that halo gets a bit blinding, he issues this corrective: “I love owning things, I love having stuff,” he insists. “I’m certainly not going to present myself as someone who gives everything away.” Phew.

The novel, I am unsettled to read, features a protagonist who can never die. Keanu, this must not be the case because I really do want to come back as you, and there can’t be two of us. Sorry.