Keanu Reeves’ life of sorrows — including losing his daughter — makes him ‘think about death all the time’

Keanu Reeves is used to defying death onscreen.

His action hero characters dodge bullets, bend the laws of physics, surf killer waves and stop runaway buses in classics including “Point Break” (1991), “Speed” (1994), “The Matrix” (1999) and “John Wick” (2014).

But, while the 59-year-old actor constantly escapes tragedy in movies, offscreen he has been surrounded by it.

Keanu Reeves on the beach in Malibu, dressed in all black, the ocean behind him.
“I’m thinking about death all the time,” Reeves told BBC News in an interview earlier this week to promote his new sci-fi novel, “The Book of Elsewhere.”Getty Images

Keanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving tussle in "The Matrix Reloaded."
Reeves’ films, such as “The Matrix Reloaded,” have been hugely successful, but his personal life has bee filled with tragedy.

Over the decades, he’s endured the heartbreaking loss of numerous loved ones, and his own ending, he recently revealed, is always on his mind.

“I’m thinking about death all the time,” Reeves told BBC News in an interview earlier this week to promote his new sci-fi novel, “The Book of Elsewhere.”

“There’s something ultimately about the creative gesture that comes from pain,” he added, ever the philosopher hunk.

Co-written with China Miéville, the book tells the story of a warrior who has seen hundreds of civilizations come and go but who cannot be killed, despite wishing otherwise.

It’s based on Reeves’ “BRZRKR” comic series, which features a protagonist with a square jaw, shaggy brown hair and a life filled with loss. The similarities to Reeves have not gone unnoticed, though the actor has a mythic backstory all his own.

Rob Lowe (left) and Keanu Reeves in hockey uniforms in a still from "Youngblood."
Reeves made his film debut in 1986’s “Youngblood” as a hunky hockey player.
Born in Lebanon, Beirut, Reeves moved around a lot early on. His mother, Patricia Taylor, was a British showgirl-turned-costume designer. His father, Samuel Reeves, was a Chinese-Hawaiian scientist.

Reeves’ sister, Kim, was born when he was two and the family was living in Australia. Samuel exited the picture soon after.

“The story with me and my dad’s pretty heavy,” he told Details in 1991, reluctant to elaborate further.

Various stepfathers and some time in New York followed. When Keanu was 6 or 7, Patricia settled him and Kim in Toronto. Growing up, he was at once quiet and private but social.

Keanu Reeves (right) and Robe Lowe in a locker room in "Young Blood."
Reeves (right) quit high school and moved to LA after making “Youngblood” with Rob Lowe (left).
“It’s a particle, it’s a wave,” he told Rolling Stone of his contradictory nature in his youth, which hinted at the soulful action star to come.

He attended four different high schools, including one that he was kicked out of, before dropping out to pursue acting. He made his film debut in 1986’s “Youngblood,” as a hunky hockey player.

Soon after, he headed to Los Angeles. At 16, he signed with manager Erwin Stoff, a friend of his stepfather’s who he would go on to work with for more than 30 years.

“He is a very loyal person, he’s not a fair-weather friend,” a senior entertainment executive who has worked on several Keanu projects told The Post.

Alex Winter (left) and Keanu Reeves flex enthusiastically in a still from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. "
The stoner comedy “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” co-starring Alex Winter (left), was a breakout role for Reeves.©Orion Pictures Corp/Courtesy Everett Co / Everett Collection
His big break came in 1989 with the iconic stoner comedy “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”

Around the time the film was being made, he nearly died in a motorcycle accident on Los Angeles’ twisting Topanga Canyon Boulevard.

He hit a hairpin turn going too fast and laid on the road for a half hour before helped arrived. At one point, a truck sped past and ran over the helmet he’d been wearing and had removed as he lay there.

“I remember saying in my head, ‘I’m going to die,’” he told Rolling Stone. “I call that a demon ride.”

Keanu Reeves speeds along a street in Los Angeles on a motrorcycle.
Reeves has had numerous close calls riding motorcycles.GC Images
Ultimately, his spleen had to be removed and he was left with a thick scar on his stomach.

But, such incidents didn’t tame him. The1991 Details interview portrayed him as defiantly riding without a helmet, calling California’s law requiring such head protection “petty government bulls—t.”

(In recent years, the entertainment executive told The Post of Reeves riding up to meetings on motorcycle, thankfully wearing a helmet, which he’d remove cinematically and set on the boardroom table.)

With such a penchant for danger, it was natural that Reeves eventually formed a tight bond with the reigning bad boy of the era, River Phoenix.

Martha Plimpton and Keanu Reeves in "Parenthood."
Martha Plimpton introduced Reeves to River Phoenix.©Universal/Courtesy Everett Collection
The two were introduced by Martha Plimpton, who was dating Phoenix and had co-starred with Reeves in the 1989 comedy “Parenthood.”

The young stars quickly grew close, thanks to a shared love of music and aversion to Hollywood’s glitz. They also had unstable, traumatic childhoods in common; Phoenix had grown up in the Children of God cult and reported being sexually abused as a 4-year-old.

The two went on to appear together in “I Love You to Death” (1990) and, more notably, “My Own Private Idaho” (1991), as two gay hustlers on the streets of Portland, Oregon.

Keanu Reeves styles Martha Plimpton's hair in a "Parenthood" still.
Plimpton and Reeves co-starred in “Parenthood” (above).©Universal/Courtesy Everett Collection
“They were really talented, and they were also sort of profoundly beautiful,” the latter film’s director, Gus Van Sant, recalled.

The shoot was a memorable one, from the various sex scenes to Phoenix and Reeves and much of the young, testosterone-heavy cast — which also included Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers — taking over Van Sant’s house. They slept on futons scattered about, had late-night jam sessions in the garage and held so many raucous parties the director ultimately moved out for a spell.

But the good times soon came to a tragic halt.

On Halloween night in 1993, Phoenix collapsed from a drug overdose outside of the famed Viper Room club in Hollywood and died.

River Phoenix (left) in sunglasses and Keanu Reeves in "My Own Private Idaho. "
River Phoenix (left) and Keanu Reeves played friends and gay hustlers in “My Own Private Idaho. “

Reeves, who was in production on “Speed” at the time, has seldom spoken about losing his dear friend.

“I hate speaking about him in the past,” he has said. “He was a really special person, so original, unique, smart, talented, fiercely creative.”

Meanwhile, Reeves’ sister Kim spent most of the ’90s battling leukemia. Although he was one of the most in-demand movie stars in the world at the time, her brother was right by her side.

“Keanu helped me so much through my illness,” Kim told Australia’s Woman’s Day. “When the pain got really bad, he would sit with me and hold my hand, and keep the ‘bad man’ from making me dance. He was supporting me and comforting me all the time, even when he was away.”

Keanu Reeves (left) cradles River Phoenix, who has his eyes closed, in a scene from "My Own Private Idaho."
Phoenix died tragically of a drug overdose in 1993.©New Line Cinema/Courtesy Everett Collection
Reeves also reportedly donated tens of millions of dollars to cancer research.

But, while he is and was close to his sister and mother, he cut his father squarely out of life.

In 1994, Samuel Reeves was arrested for possessing large quantities of cocaine and heroin and sentenced to 10 years in jail. He served two years, and, at some point in the mid-90s, reached out to his son but Keanu didn’t get back to him.

Samuel died in 2018, and Reeves reportedly did not attend the funeral and memorial luncheon, held at the famed Duke’s Waikiki on Oahu.

Keanu and Kim Reeves on a red carpet.
Kim Reeves says her brother was instrumental in helping her battle cancer.Bei/Shutterstock
“It’s full of pain and woe and f—ing loss and all that s–t,” he once said of their relationship.

The year 1999 saw Reeves’ biggest hit — “The Matrix” — but also his biggest loss.

His girlfriend Jennifer Syme was eight months pregnant when she gave birth to their baby daughter, Ava. She was stillborn.

Syme and Reeves had only been dating a year or so but were reportedly deeply in love. But, their relationship could not withstand the tragedy. They broke up a few weeks later but remained close.

Jennifer Syme DMV headshot with blue background.
Reeves and girlfriend Jennifer Syme had a stillborn daughter, Ava, together. They were left heartbroken by the baby’s death and broke up soon after.California Department of Motor Vehicles

Keanu Reeves holds a white coffin with pink flowers at the funeral for Jennifer Syme. Various others help with the coffin.
Syme died two years later in a car accident. She and Reeves had remained close, and he helped carry the coffin at her funeral.GC Images
In 2001, Syme hit several parked cars after partying at Marilyn Manson’s house. She was thrown from her Jeep Cherokee and suffered deadly head injuries. She was just 28-years-old.

Reeves said little about her death at the time. Five years later, in a revealing interview with Parade magazine, he admitted he was never the same after her passing.

“Grief changes shape, but it never ends,” he said. “People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, ‘It’s gone, and I’m better.’ They’re wrong.”

He was 41 at the time he gave the interview, and said he still hoped to have a family of his own someday.

Keanu Reeves in black atop a building in a still from "The Matrix."
In 1999, “The Matrix” was released and was a huge hit for Reeves. But that year was also filled with tragedy for the actor.Everett Collection
“I want to get married. I want to have kids. That’s at the top of the mountain. I’ve got to climb the mountain first,” he said. “I’ll do it. Just give me some time.”

Yet, those desires seemed to allude him. Reeves has never had children of his own, at least that the public is aware of.

For a handsome, successful movie star, his romantic life has often been a mystery.

“You don’t hear about him boffing starlets,” said the entertainment executive.

What you do hear about is him being a nice guy — known for being exceedingly loyal, charitable and down-to-earth.

Keanu Reeves sits on a park bench looking sad.
A forlorn photo of Reeves on a park bench launched the “Sad Keanu” meme.Ron Asadorian / Splash News

“He not a diva,” said the executive. “He’s very pragmatic, he’s seen it all and done it all. He’s got savvy but not annoying savvy — unlike Ryan Reynolds and all his businesses.”

In 2010, the mystery around Reeves, his past losses and a photo of him looking alone and forlorn on a park bench came together as the “Sad Keanu” meme.

“I’m just eating a sandwich,” he later said of the photo, denying it had captured him at any kind of low moment.

Indeed, Reeves isn’t alone these days.

Alexandra Grant and Keanu Reeves hold hands on a red carpet, with pink Tiffany & Co. step and repeat.
In recent years, Reeves has gone public with his relationship with artist Alexandra Grant.FilmMagic
In 2019, he made his red carpet debut with longtime friend-turned-girlfriend Alexandra Grant.

Grant, a willowy, silver-maned artist, just six years younger than Reeves, is a refreshingly interesting, age-appropriate love interest for a Hollywood leading man — a notable change from the girls contemporaries such as Brad Pitt, 60; Tom Cruise, 62; and Leonardo DiCaprio, 49, are seen out with.

And, he’s channeled his energy into the John Wick movies.

That four-film franchise has been an unexpected hit, raking in more than $1 billion at the box office, with each successive movie more successful than the last.

Keanu Reeves and Halle Berry walk through desert dunes with two German shepherds in a still from "John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum."
“I love his grief,” Reeves has said of John Wick, an assassin pulled out of retirement to avenge the death of his dog. The hugely successful “John Wick” franchise includes four films; the third installment co-starred Halle Berry (above).