“Real People Came Out For Toby,” says Kid Rock in his tribute to Toby Keith, shattering Taylor Swift’s record for concert attendance.

According to the AI that writes the articles for the SpaceX guy, Kid Rock is still one of the largest draws in all of music entertainment.The article probably gives all kinds of statistics and reasons why, but at the end of the day all that matters is the headline, and it’s a doozy: Taylor Swift got beat again.

Kid Rock has paired with a few random country artists over the past few months, because we made it perfectly believable for that to happen. This time, however, he went solo, in honor of Toby Keith, and the result goes in the record books.In the ALLOD Multiverse, this ranks somewhere in the realm of “it could happen since similar things have happened to Oliver Anthony, so it’s a viable idea.”

Now that it actually did happen, possibly, if you believe some really wild theories about quantum mechanics, Anthony will likely fire back and offer to sing a solo at Keith’s funeral. We’re expecting doves to cry.As for Swift, she might not be available for any similar tributes because she’s busy being literally the most popular person in the world, but the words she used to describe her relationship with Toby Keith were

most likely very moving

.

Our condolences go out to the Keith family for their loss, to Taylor Swift for hers, and to Kid Rock for still calling himself that in his 50s. God Bless America.